Thursday, May 17, 2007

False claims of Grandeur

Okay, I thought I had decided to not hop on soap boxes and to try and write about the better side of being here. Well, I can't just sit here and let this go without saying. Mom, I'm sorry about the foul language. Cover your eyes!

I don't think I can ever find fault in anyone that has done their time in this place. We all encounter our own demons here. There are some things that happen in this war, and each soldier's part in it, that we may have difficulty coping with. One thing I have wanted to get out from the first time I wrote about this war and me is that not every soldier has the same experiences. That's not to say that I won't have issues that I find difficult to deal with when I return to the real world. I won't however, have all the same issues as our men on the guns.

With that being said, I am completely infuriated upon learning about one of our soldiers going home on his two weeks of R&R and acting like a complete ass, then blaming it on being in combat. One of my co-workers sits behind the same desk I do. He has never been outside the wire, never killed anyone, never been shot at and never driven countless hours in darkness looking for bombs. He, like me, is a fobbit in every sense of the word. Concern has been expressed from one family member to the other about the well being of our soldiers going home on leave. One of my fellow soldiers is playing the experiences of others as his own in a disgusting attempt at grandeur. With his family in the car, he swerves madly across the road dodging potholes and trash and yells that they could have been bombs. This guy has never driven where there have been bombs! He has never dodged pot holes or had trash blow up on him. I'm not saying he doesn't have his own problems to deal with, hell we all do, in war or not. But damnit, don't make shit up to get attention. Don't use experiences that are not your own as an excuse for you to be a complete idiot and risk the safety of your family to get attention they would give you anyway.

You are a pathetic bastard and I am ashamed of you! Man up! If you have issues, concerns and phobias then let's learn how to deal with them. My theory is you are just a son-of-a-bitch and will use serving in this war as an excuse to validate the fact that you are an asshole and though you have always been one, now others will blame it on the war instead of you.

I admire the soldiers who do what they do and no one back home even knows. They exhibit such self discipline and control and keep their families and friends out of their danger. I love that about them. I can't be THAT soldier. I have to tell my story, my life as I live it. No glamour, no glory, just me. I work in an office now that does important things and have realized that being a fobbit is not a bad thing. My job is to make it as safe for my guys as I can by keeping them informed of the "big picture". Oh, I have my phobias, fears and concerns. This war has exacerbated the flaws in my life. I will use my experiences here to be a better father, better lover and better friend than I have been in the past. But, if you ever hear me playing up the dangers and tragedies of my fellow soldiers as my own… punch me straight in the mouth! I have sacrificed just as much as everyone around me and if that's not good enough for you, if you can't appreciate my devotion and dedication to you and my country; so be it… that's your right as an American!