Wednesday, April 30, 2008

An Important Tool

Sorry it has been so long since my last entry. I have been doing well. It has been almost three months since I returned to the US and I think I have fully adjusted. I owe most of it to my girlfriend who has been with me through it all.

There was a time early on when large crowds made me uncomfortable and I spoke of how 'over alert' I was. We went to the mall one day and had lunch at the food court. I remember her talking and I was listening to her and scanning the room with my eyes looking for I don't know what. Then I noticed her reach over and hold my hand and just looked at me and talked to me in a calm voice as her eyes stared right into my soul. Everything around me just faded away and I couldn't focus on anything but her.

These past few months have been just like that. Everytime I would start getting anxious, nervous or start getting angry about whatever, she would gently squeeze my hand and demand all my attention until it passed.

Now, I think I have completely adjusted and somehow she still thinks I am crazy, but I think in a good way this time.

I think that she 'saved' me and I think that love, understanding and patience is an important tool for any soldier adjusting from combat. She never pretended to understand. She never made me feel stupid or foolish and I think that is what I love about her.